I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.
If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.
I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.
Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.
Meow” means “woof” in cat.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.