Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day i fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.
I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.