Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

Cannot possibly attend first night. Will attend second, if there is one.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.

Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.

The most tragic thing in the world is a man of genius who is not a man of honor.

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

The play was a great success.But audience was a dismal failure.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

Cannot possibly attend first night. Will attend second, if there is one.

A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows.

Those who do not know how to live must make a merit of dying.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.