Who had a large wardrobe of Humour's cast-off clothes.
Nowadays all the married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men.
If the caveman had known how to laugh, history would have been different.
He was always late on principle, his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time.
I should fancy that crime was to them what art is to us, simply a method of procuring extraordinary sensations.
I like talking to a brick wall- it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me!
With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.
Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.
Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.
Actions are the first tragedy in life, words are the second. Words are perhaps the worst. Words are merciless.
The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.
Oh! I don't think I would like to catch a sensible man. I shouldn't know what to talk to him about.
Oh, brothers! I don't care for brothers. My elder brother won't die, and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else.
If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence.
She can talk brilliantly upon any subject provided she knows nothing about it.
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up.
I love to talk about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about.
Some things are too important to be taken seriously.
Irony is wasted on the stupid.
The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.
One should always be in love. That's the reason one should never marry.