Everyone must believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in kansas city in order to be unhappy.

My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. that's why she's in love with me.

I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. anyone can get old. all you have to do is live long enough

Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.