I don't know the key to success.But the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Nobody ever says, can I have your beets?
Parents are not interested in justice — They want quiet !
Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: The wife is in charge.
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think. In a deeper voice.
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please.
The past is a ghost, the future is a dream, all we ever have is now.
The internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they're not.