His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
I read a lot of scripts that I just don't find very funny.
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.
There's nothing funnier than the human animal.
My wife was afraid of the dark... Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
I found there was only one way to look thin: Hang out with fat people.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been in really ghastly taste. I don't think I have embarrassed many people or distressed them.
A chaplain's assistant is customarily a figure of fun in the american army.
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.