Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
They arrested us after breakfast.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
It evidently made no difference whether I was there to look after things or not.
After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
I’m afraid of the rain because sometimes I see me dead in it.
He went out and I heard him laughing in the hall. I heard some.
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
I want you so much I want to be you too.
On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the salt water off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Then too you are in love. Do not forget that is a religious feeling.
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
The whole thing seemed to run better while I was away.
They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
What fresh hell is this?
Together they made the bed with me in it. That was new to me and an admirable proceeding.
Tell Him I Was Too Fucking Busy-- Or Vice Versa.
I hate writing, I love having written.
It was one of those things that gave you a false feeling of soldering.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.