Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an auto mobile that outlasts the payments.
Keep right on lying to me. That's what I want you to do.
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
My heart's broken,' he thought. If I feel this way my heart must be broken.
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
A writer should write what he has to say and not speak it.
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Confucius Say Wife Who Put Husband In Doghouse Soon Find Him In Cathouse.
Wine is a grand thing," I said. It makes you forget all the bad.
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
It matters not how slow you go as long as you do not stop.
Any man's life, told truly, is a novel.
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Everything has beauty, but not everyone can see.
We're stronger in the places that we've been broken.
Everyone behaves badly--given the chance.
You've such a lovely temperature.
You are what you think.
It's silly not to hope. It's a sin he thought.
We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.
Words are the voice of the heart.
Heaven means to be one with god.
He who is concerned only with the purity of his own life ruins the great human relations.