You don’t reinvent yourself; you get better with what you do.
Things are old. parts are old. I’m talking about ‘us’ parts. AARP-parts. some of us were born with stronger parts than others.
People say to me, ‘do you know who you look like?’ and I say, ‘I’m really tired of looking like that guy.
I don’t see much comedy in the bible, where people are writing about funny people. it’s not there.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
At the very least marriage is a miscarriage of expectation, at its worst a wrenching disappointment with destiny.
I'm sorry." Now the dentist pulls out a needle. This is to deaden the pain.
I didn't know how serious it is to a female that you lift the lid.
My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.
Only people as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.
The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
Decide that you want it more than you're afraid of it.
I don't know the key to success.But the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Parents are not interested in justice — They want quiet !
I never wanted a divorce. I hate that word. My ideal was to get married once and for all.
And I will never, never again run away from life.
I feel like if I died, no one would even notice.
He doesn’t even know I exist.
He never felt loneliness except when he was happy.
And suddenly, I left nothing.
I don’t deserve to be happy.
You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me.
I am having a nervous breakdown.
Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you are afraid of.