Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.
I often wake up in the night, and I like to have something to think about.
A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it.
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the vatican has overlooked.
In order to control myself I must first accept myself by going with and not against my nature.
Only those with no memory insist on their originality.
You come to my comedy show to be entertained.
And the end of the fight is a tombstone white with the name of the late deceased, and the epitaph drear: A Fool lies here who tried to hustle the East.
“Borrow trouble for yourself, if that's your nature, but don't lend it to your neighbours.”
By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart.
Only those with no memory insist on their originality.
Poverty is the worst form of violence.
Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is thought.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Secret operations are essential in war; upon them the army relies to make its every move.
“Indolence is sweet, and its consequence bitter.”
It was worth half-cent to kill a "nigger", and a half-cent to bury one.
Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
The best thinking has been done in solitude. The worst has been done in turmoil.
And whoever walks a furlong without sympathy walks to his own funeral drest in his shroud.
I find my greatest pleasure, and so my reward, in the work that precedes what the world calls success.
Think where man's glory Most begins and ends And say my glory was That I had such friends.
People do not like to think. if one thinks, one must reach conclusions. conclusions are not always pleasant.